Whole30: Taking My Life Back: That Time I Took a Vacation

Just in case you were wondering, yes, I'm still here. Yes, I'm continuing with the Whole30 program. I feel so darn good I can't bring myself to stop just yet. I'm so friggin' dedicated that I decided to keep it up while I went on a spontaneous 10-day vacation to St. George, Utah for a family reunion this past week.

And it was hard.

SO. DAMN. HARD.

If you have any desire to start your own Whole30, and I really hope you do, please, for the love of all that is good in this world, DO NOT START ON WHILE YOU ARE ON VACATION. I hit this vacay after being W30 compliant for nearly two months and it was still so freaking difficult.

But it's possible.

I wasn't perfect. I ate a couple of run-of-the-mill, preservative-filled hotdogs, some non-compliant dressing, 3 fast food french fries, and a half bite of a pretzel (checking my daughter's snacks for varying degrees of staleness). I'm also pretty sure the bun-less Wendy's burger I scarfed down while chasing a hyper Miss E around a gift shop had some ketchup on it, too. But hey, I made the best choices based on what was available to me, and I learned a whole heck of a lot.

As I mentioned above, this was a pretty spontaneous vacation. I decided on a Friday that I was going to set out on the following Sunday to be to the family reunion by Tuesday. That meant I had all day Saturday to pack and get ready for the two-day drive. I spent almost four hours in the kitchen on Saturday making deviled eggs, pico, homemade guac, chicken salad, boiled eggs, and various on-plan snacks. I had a cooler of food and a bag of produce waiting to be used when I got to my destination so that I had stuff available to make compliant dinners (also I just spent money on a weeks worth of groceries. . . I was not about to let that go to waste!).

It started out great. Even Miss Toddler Pants did well in the car for the first leg of the trip. We stopped at our halfway point and ate my prepared lunch and gave her a chance to run around and get some wiggles out before setting out again. I felt super-confident and fast-food-free. It was great.

Then came leg #2. . . I met my sister-in-law in Denver on Sunday night. We packed up and set out Monday morning. It was us two adults, four little kiddos (two of which were 19 months old), and a crap ton of stuff all crammed into one SUV. It should have taken us about 10 hours to get from Denver to St. George. . . . it took us almost 14. That is a LONG day. We had so many delays and rough moments that by the time we pulled up to the house we were staying at, I nearly cried. If it's at all possible to get PTSD from a road trip with four kids, I definitely had it. It took every ounce of self control for me to not run out and grab a Snickers. I'm pretty sure I could have benefited from the mood-boosting effects that the commercials so prominently promise.

I'm usually excited to make my Whole30 meals, but while in St. George, sharing a house with multiple people, I felt terribly isolated. Making each meal was complicated and took twice as long as everyone else's food took. While others were enjoying hot dogs and frozen pizza, sandwiches and yogurt, I was making garlic shrimp over zucchini noodles with chimichuri sauce and chicken chowder. So great was the lonely feeling that eating what I made almost made me feel nauseated. I was angry and bitter. I had forgotten how long everything in my Whole30 menu took to prepare. I felt that I was missing out on so much family time because I was stuck in the kitchen.

What was happening? What about this had gone so terribly wrong that instead of enjoying the sacrifices, I was starting to get terribly frustrated by the whole program?

It took a few days, but I realized that the cause of my angst wasn't really the program. I was free to start incorporating things into my diet at any time. The problem was my attitude about my situation. There wasn't anyone there to applaud my choices or ooh and ahh over my cooking. It was just me. I was in this terribly-confusing limbo between giving into the vacation mentality of "no calories count" or stick to it and feel good about what I was putting in my body.

Once I made the decision, my week completely changed. I easily refused the cookies and Rice Crispy treats and homemade breads that I was offered. I found that I didn't mind being in the kitchen again chopping vegetables and preparing meals. I found that I could enjoy the company of other people rather than waste energy being all ticked off at nothing at all. I found that I still really enjoyed putting healthy things into my body even without the accolades that I had come to depend on.

I'm back home now and even more excited to continue this journey towards becoming my whole self. Being on vacation had proven to be the most challenging of the temptations I've faced, but above all else, it helped me to see that I can apply this to "real life" and come out the other side all the better for it. It's an empowering feeling.

A sample of what I ate: