My sister's birthday was also yesterday. We had a small family gathering that I knew would involve cake and a traditional (non-compliant) Andrea's Favorite Birthday Meal. Making adjustments to the recipe for dinner was the easy part, and everyone seemed very accommodating, which I am always to grateful for. However, the idea of sitting around watching everyone eat cake, pretending like I don't mind at all, made me a little bit crabby. Normally on the Whole30, desserts--even substitute desserts with approved ingredients--are discouraged. It's really against the rules altogether. So I made a fruit salad to eat while everyone else ate cake. I was surprised at how truly easy it was to refuse and be OK eating my little salad instead.
I'm far less irritable around other people's food choices since starting the program. I used to feel jealous and even resentful when people ate things I couldn't eat. I can honestly say that my perspective has absolutely shifted. I no longer see myself in this food prison; I see it as making better choices for myself and for my family. If that means I refrain from eating things I know aren't good for me, then I recognize that as my own decision, not anyone else's. In that sense, my feelings of control over my own life have a really stabilizing effect.
Case in point: Tonight I went out with some really close girlfriends I've known for years. The restaurant of choice: Jose Peppers. That's right, we were going to a "Tex/Mex" eatery. Nothing about that spoke "healthy and W30 compliant." I perused the online menu and picked out a few options I thought were easy enough to be altered and that would satisfy my palate. I chose the steak fajitas, no cheese, no tortillas, no sour cream, fruit instead of beans and rice, and instead of guacamole (because they put cottage cheese in their quac... WHAT? Good thing I asked), I opted for an avocado and pico de gallo. Our server had to come back with a written list of ingredients twice. Poor guy. He was such an amazing sport about it, too. My friends were really accommodating and I didn't feel at all like I was any kind of embarrassment (well...mostly. right Lis? JK. I love you!) Once the ordering was all done, I could relax. I felt so much more in tune with the conversation and the company. It was a refreshing change from my usual focus on chips and queso. Lisa, April, Chelsea, Audrey, you girls are magic. Thank you for letting me be me tonight. The food was delicious, the company was wonderful, and I didn't leave with cheese gut. It was well worth all the questions and the hassle.
Making food, preparing menus, and all the work that goes into sticking to this program has almost become second nature now. This is almost a dangerous thing. Being too comfortable can lead to justification of things that would normally be on the border of W30 rather than well within the rules. In order to combat this mindset, I've been reading through the W30 book again to reacquaint myself with the rules. I'm as good at justifying rule-bending as anyone, but this is about breaking bad habits, so I'm determined to make sure I stay true to the program.
Speaking of breaking bad habits, my scale addiction is also fading, which is nice. I'm much more focused on how I feel vs. the numbers. As much as I'm looking forward to Day 30, I'm also terrified of it. It's a little weird. There's security in so many hard and fast boundaries and rules. Setting me "free" into the world without so many lines drawn is scary to think about. But I have 20 more days to figure that out. The fear that is plaguing me a bit now revolves more on a lack of results. What if I get to the end of this and I haven't lost a single pound or a solitary inch off of me? I think this is becoming more of a fear lately because the positive effects of eating healthier are becoming more routine. The "new" feeling has been fading a bit as this becomes more routine than special project.
Since I have two days in once post (again), here are some highlighted meals:
 |
| Here is my fruit salad I ate along side the cake-eaters. Blueberries, strawberries, jicama, and basil. So fresh and really vibrant. YUM. |
 |
| Leftovers lunch. Leftover stuffed pepper filling sauteed with cabbage, leftover cauli mash with CARAMELIZED onions this time instead of the burned stuff, ruby red grapefruit. The mash/onions combo is my new favorite thing. |
Keep posting, Steph! And keep it up..you are doing so well! Just my two cents...I'll bet you'll have lost weight when you get to your weigh day. And if by some weird fluke you haven't, you KNOW that what you've been doing is so much healthier for you already. That is a huge huge win! And sticking with it for 10 whole days is more wonderful than I can say...and by the time you get done it will have been 30! That is an amazing accomplishment and you should be so proud. With the healthy changes you've already made, there are 1001 other things you can add to it at the end of your 30 days to continue losing weight, if you so choose. You're a winner no matter how you look at it or what the scale says. You can feel it in your body, and it will respond to you sooner or later (no matter how stubborn it is). It will come. I say this as I still have another 45 or so to lose...I started pretty close to you. It's possible. And you are doing amazing.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Shannon!! I really, really appreciate the positive words. Sometimes I feel like I'm barely hanging on! It's good to be reminded why I'm doing this.
DeleteI think if your results aren't what you want them to be, keep going! I know that if I don't feel like I'm quite healed I'll keep going. I bet you'll see results though! You already have! Remember the legs?? Yeah. See?
ReplyDeleteYou're totally right. I'm already seeing results. I need to focus on the positive and not the fears.
Delete